You may be a poet and not even know it

Limericks are the poetry of the masses.
They can be written without college classes.
The only thing that can be said,
of all the ones I've read,
the poets were a mix of geniuses and asses.

I wrote that one in less than 2 minutes ( as you can probably tell ). The point is that I have a little bit of wit, and very little artistic talent, yet I came up with that fairly easily. Google up "limericks" for sites on the basics and for ideas. There are rules to follow but many dont, and some of those are the best. Enjoy the ones below I found on the web.
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If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
You can honestly say
That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly
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On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.
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if(computer.fail==true){
background.setColor(blue);
user.frown();
sys.shutdown();
user.scream("OH, FUCK YOU");}
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Rob, an odd fellow, designs
Poems of equal-length lines
And he limericks with flair
As his forethought and care
Ensure a word count of 3 9s

(27 characters in each line, 27 words in the limerick)
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A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large"
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There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you'd possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
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A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.
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The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of bright blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.
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A dozen, a gross, and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven
plus five times eleven
is nine squared, and not a bit more!
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There once was a plumber from Brie,
Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,
She cried "Plumber, stop plumbing,
There's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
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There once was a gal from Peru
whose limericks stopped on line two.
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There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
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The limerick packs laughs astronomical
in a space that is most economical.
But of the ones that I've seen,
so few have been clean,
and the clean ones are seldom so comical.
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At the party, some girls got out Twister
and I joined, although one was my sister.
It may be the drinks
But I heard "right hand pink"
And the only way out was to fist her.
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There once was a man from O'Doole
who discovered red spots on his tool.
He went to the doc,
who looked at his cock,
and said, "wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
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There once was a girl named Jude,
Who's skirt by the wind was strewed.
A man came along,
And unless im quite wrong,
You expected this last line to be lewd.

No Fool for April Fool's

I thought about coming up with some crank news story ala Orson Wells, but I worked 14 1/2 hours yesterday and just don't feel like it. But I've been meaning to post these pictures I found so enjoy these and keep on your toes today. Pranksters like me are out there everywhere.

Every dog has it's day

I post alot of pictures of "babes" in this blog, but as they say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" ( Which obviously was said by someone who was hooked up with an ugly person and taking alot of shit for it ). So I guess it's only fair to post some pictures of women from the other end of the spectrum, to put it delicately. So for all you fugly skank lovers out there, this post is for you.

MY EYES!! MY EYES!!

Jesus H. Christ! Thank God, that's over!

Never, never again.

Never.

50,000 Galaxies

The pictures below show a tiny portion of the night sky near the Big Dipper magnified. That one small speck of the sky contains some 50,000 galaxies! Almost every point of light in the bottom picture is a galaxy. There are billions upon billions of galaxies in the universe, and each of those contain billions upon billions of stars, and around many (if not most) of those stars are planets. And there are theories that our entire universe may be just a bubble or dimension among an infinite number of other bubbles or dimensions with their own universes and billions of galaxies. I don't believe in little green men, but I can't believe that in the mind boggling vastness of all that exists, we are the only form of intelligent life out there.

Jeans Advertisement

Top of the World

Mount Everest is the tallest mountain in the world! It stands 29,028 ft high, and lies in the Himalayas on the border of Tibet and Nepal. The Mountain was named after Sir George Everest. Everest was a land surveyor and geographer and measured India, the largest land measurement of the time.

Click on the link below for a cool panoramic view from the summit of Mt Everest.

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap080830.html

Liberals get it wrong again

The only thing wrong with this graph is that it doesn't mention that during the red deficit years Congress, and the nation's wallet, were in the hands of "money's made for spending" Democrats. During the blue surplus years, Republicans were in control. But, when have liberals ever let the truth get in their way.

Motivation

A little humor for a lazy day

Baseball in the Matrix

Big cat chillin-out

House cat chillin-out
I'm a Republican, but I had to laugh at this.
Well, of course she is. Do you really see a Prince William type of guy in her future? But, at least she's come to terms with who she is.

I don't know Jake, there's just something about the new guy that doesn't feel right.

Tuesday Miscellany

Not all cowboys like cows

LaTonya and Kelly had similar responses when the sex pollster asked if they liked to swallow.

Sex Fetish Test: Does this gross you out, or turn you on?

Your tax dollars being well spent

Their fate is sealed

Despite the bee's ability to locate it's hive from miles away, negotiating the honeycombs can be daunting.

One guess why she loves him

Billy Idol's dog