Limericks are the poetry of the masses.
They can be written without college classes.
The only thing that can be said,
of all the ones I've read,
the poets were a mix of geniuses and asses.
I wrote that one in less than 2 minutes ( as you can probably tell ). The point is that I have a little bit of wit, and very little artistic talent, yet I came up with that fairly easily. Google up "limericks" for sites on the basics and for ideas. There are rules to follow but many dont, and some of those are the best. Enjoy the ones below I found on the web.
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If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
You can honestly say
That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly
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On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.
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background.setColor(blue);
user.frown();
sys.shutdown();
user.scream("OH, FUCK YOU");}
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Rob, an odd fellow, designs
Poems of equal-length lines
And he limericks with flair
As his forethought and care
Ensure a word count of 3 9s
(27 characters in each line, 27 words in the limerick)
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A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large"
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There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you'd possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
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A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.
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The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of bright blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.
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A dozen, a gross, and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven
plus five times eleven
is nine squared, and not a bit more!
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There once was a plumber from Brie,
Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,
She cried "Plumber, stop plumbing,
There's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
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There once was a gal from Peru
whose limericks stopped on line two.
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There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
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The limerick packs laughs astronomical
in a space that is most economical.
But of the ones that I've seen,
so few have been clean,
and the clean ones are seldom so comical.
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At the party, some girls got out Twister
and I joined, although one was my sister.
It may be the drinks
But I heard "right hand pink"
And the only way out was to fist her.
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There once was a man from O'Doole
who discovered red spots on his tool.
He went to the doc,
who looked at his cock,
and said, "wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
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There once was a girl named Jude,
Who's skirt by the wind was strewed.
A man came along,
And unless im quite wrong,
You expected this last line to be lewd.
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