Hippofartimous

Well, they aint known for their social graces.

Too Bad

Bad Santa

Bad Girls

Bad Actor

Bad Joke

Bad Design

Bad Look

Bad Beach

Bad European

Bad Teeth

Bad Name

Bad Granpa

Bad Landing

Quotables

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -- Bill Cosby

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. -- Buddy Hackett

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

Today is one of those days when I'm so busy doing nothing that I don't have time for anything else.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

The sole purpose of a middle name, is so you know when you're really in trouble.

Why use the phrase "for shits and giggles"? Who the heck shits then giggles?

dammit I'm mad spelled backwards is dammit I'm mad.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS ..... BRING ON THE TEQUILA.

If I was a squirrel, I'd be Foamy

What are you looking at!, Part 2

I'm sure he's just trying to read her name tag.

Don't blame the kid! You force a guy to go to an art gallery, he's gonna get bored and find something else to do. Age doesn't matter.

Don't see THAT in East St. Louis, do you pal?

This guys got balls. He probably even asked the girl to spread 'em a little.

Isn't that Justin Bieber? He's probably admiring her hair.

Woody's giving himself a woody.

 

Is it cold in here?

DON'T TURN THAT THERMOSTAT UP!!!

LOL

HaHa. Been there, done that.

Whoa. Been there, regretted that.

When your friend set you up on this blind date, she did say the girl was an artist.

You know if Hilary would just go ahead and come out of the closet, she'd probably win.

Which one of these things is not like the others? Which one of these things is different?

Bad Ass Mo-Fo!!!

Some Girls Got 'Em, Some Girls Aint, Part 2

Is this like the hot chick that has an ugly friend? Do women that are attractive, or have features considered attractive, attach themselves to women that do not inorder to emphasize that attractiveness? Or is it the other way around? Do the 'have-nots' hang with the 'haves' to bask in their glow and get the crumbs? The World may never know.

Mass Transit Madness

Screw the environment. I'll keep driving my 5.2 V-8 Magnum Dodge pickup and take my chances on the open highway. The crazies are just too "normal" on the subway, trains, and buses.

100th Post

I was deciding what to do for my 100th post, so I just Googled up 100 and got this video of the "100 best YouTube in 4 minutes". It is pretty cool.

Stupid Headlines

Hmmm, I wonder how she pulled that off.

C'mon now, I think we all like to eat pussy now and then, but to survive? I think he's toot'n his own horn.

I don't even let my daughter know when I get that kind of a "raise".

They're just jealous, and maybe a little intimidated by the black man myth.

They have gotten pretty aggressive lately at the nightclubs.

This is news?!