I wish I'd said that

Ability is nothing without opportunity.

   -- Napoleon Bonaparte


A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.

   -- Martin Luther King, Jr.


All things truly wicked start from innocence.

   -- Ernest Hemingway


As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.

   -- Abraham Lincoln


Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

   -- Bill Cosby


Duty is the essence of manhood.

   -- George S. Patton


Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

   -- Albert Einstein


Democracy is worth dying for, because it's the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.

   -- Ronald Reagan


When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.

   -- Rodney Dangerfield


A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

   -- Winston Churchill


I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

   -- Nelson Mandela


Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

   -- Marilyn Monroe


All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

   -- Walt Disney

Quotables

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. -- George Bernard Shaw

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. -- Bill Cosby

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. -- Buddy Hackett

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain

Today is one of those days when I'm so busy doing nothing that I don't have time for anything else.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

The sole purpose of a middle name, is so you know when you're really in trouble.

Why use the phrase "for shits and giggles"? Who the heck shits then giggles?

dammit I'm mad spelled backwards is dammit I'm mad.

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS ..... BRING ON THE TEQUILA.

Awesome Aussies

The irony of this is that teachers are overwhelmingly liberal, and worked hard to create the environment where people that fail shouldn't be treated like failures. "We're ALL winners" they would proclaim. They were cool with that when it was a small minority they were speaking of. But now, their liberal ideology ( or is that 'idiotology' ) has created a large minority of whiners, slackers, and give-me-something-for-nothings, and it just isn't cool anymore.

I love the recording, but feel no pity for them. They helped create that monster.

Facebook Wit & Wisdom

I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak

When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?

My computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, she said 'erect'.

Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate

Doctors waiting rooms need better music ... And softer lighting ... And more women ... And a pole in the middle of the room ... And a buffet.

I use to be great at wordplay. Once a pun a time.

Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

I swear my pillow was a hairstylist in a previous life. I always wake up with the wierdest hairdos.

Oh I’m sorry! I didn’t realise you were giving me a dirty look…I just thought you were ugly like that all the time!!

Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?

I love it when my computer says " are you sure you want to continue unprotected "

"Vini, Vedi, Velcro" ... I came, I saw, I stuck around!

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory

NEVER trust a man in a wheelchair with dirty shoes.

Sometimes your Knight in shinning armour is just an idiot wrapped in tinfoil

If Barbie's so popular why do u have to buy her friends

I enjoy walking through the intensive care unit dressed as the grim reaper

When YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook merge, will it be called YouTwitFace?

I resolve to be resolute

Well now that New Years is upon us I guess it's time to make up that annual to-do list we give ourselves.

But then I have to wonder, why? I hate it when someone gives me a to-do list (do you hear that wife-of-mine?). Why in the Hell should I give myself one. I'm dooming myself to failure from the start. Right?

Well, not necessarily. My list from last year was a good list, and I actually accomplished many of my resolutions. And I'll tell you how you can do the same thing.

First and foremost, you must resolve to be resolute. In other words you have to tell yourself that you're going to do this ... and mean it. You have big and small problems/issues in your life that you want to disappear. Or you might have some self-improvement goals you'd like to set and reach. Well, your problems won't disappear and your dreams won't come to fruition unless you take an active approach towards making it happen.

Secondly is making up the list. The key to this is to keep it fairly short and attainable. By attainable I mean something you can realistically expect to fix. Don't write 'Stop global warming' or 'End world hunger'. I know all you liberals think you can, but you can't. (Besides global warming is a hoax perpetrated by Al Gore to stroke his ego and line his pockets. And you all fell for it. But that's another post). What you need is one or two big ones like 'Fix my credit' or 'Save up for a new car' or 'Lose 40 lbs'. Those are things you can't fix in a week or a month but you can expect to do them over the course of the year ahead.

Now, add in some things that are medium hard. 'Repair the deck', 'Take guitar lessons', 'Actually take a vacation this year'. These are things that require some time and effort, but can be accomplished in a few weeks or months.

Then add in some easy things. 'Clean out the garage', 'Be nicer to my co-workers', 'Get to the gym twice a week', 'Do some charity work', 'Family daytrip to wherever twice a month'. These are things that don't require much time or effort and can be done almost spontaneously.

When completed, your list should have 1 or 2 big resolutions, 3 or 4 medium ones, and 6 to 8 easy ones. Not more than 12 to 14 total. Remember, this list needs to be attainable. Too long a list and you'll quickly convince yourself it can't be done, or you don't have time, or whatever lame excuse you always come up with.

Now put the list someplace you'll see it frequently. NOT THE REFRIGERATOR!!! It will be covered and forgotten by next week! Tape it to your bedroom mirror. Frame it and hang it on the wall next to the toilet (gross but effective). Put it in your computer as a task that pops up twice a week (Not everyday because you'll just ignore it. But Monday, the start of the week, and Friday, the start of the weekend, are good choices). The key is to put it someplace so that you will notice it at least a couple times a week and keep it in mind.

So you've resolved to do this, made your list, and hung it on the bathroom wall. (What is wrong with having it next to the toilet? Your just sitting there waiting anyway. It's prime brainstorming time). Before you even begin to tackle the big ones knock out 1 or 2 of the little ones. It'll make you feel good about yourself, and give you encouragement that you can do this.

As you scratch off an easy one replace it with a new easy one. The easy ones are motivators that keep us going. They provide quick results with little effort. Always keep half a dozen items on your easy list.

Now you're going to start working on 1 medium and 1 big item. First of all, you need to figure out how long it will take to reach that goal, and then break it down into smaller benchmarks that you can attain along the way. This will show yourself that you're making progress and encourage you to continue. For instance, if you want to lose 40 lbs by June 1st, you've got 5 months or 20 weeks to do it. That's 2 lbs per week, which is a reasonable amount (as long as you could stand to lose 40 lbs that is). The internet is a perfect tool for planning out your resolutions. There are numerous how-to sites and chat group places where people talk about exactly what you want to do.

Next comes actually doing it. It's your list. Do you want to accomplish these things or not? How strong is your resolve? You ... YOU! ... have to be willing to take the time and put forth the effort to make this happen.

Like with the easy list, come up with a new item for your medium list once you've accomplished that first one. And then do the same with your hard list when you've conquered, or achieved, one of those goals. Before long this will be a normal part of your life, and you'll be solving problems as they arise, and chasing those dreams instead of just dreaming. It won't be a New Year's Resolution List anymore, it'll be your life laid out in front of you waiting for you to come and take control of it. Because that's what this list is all about. Making your life better, more successful, more fulfilling.

All you have to do is take that first step ...

... resolve to be resolute

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