Shot heard 'round the world

On this day in 1775 the American Revolution began with battles of Lexington and Concord. The two paintings below show the militia engaging the British at Lexington.

This painting shows the fighting at Concord's North Bridge.

The bridge today.

The Minuteman statue at the bridge.

Woman gets shot in head, makes tea

In todays news:

Jackson County, Miss. -- A Mississippi woman who was shot in the head not only survived but made herself tea and offered an astonished deputy something to drink, authorities said Friday.

Tammy Sexton, 47, was in bed when her estranged husband, on probation for domestic violence, entered their home just after midnight and shot her with a .380 handgun. The bullet struck her squarely in the forehead, passed through her skull and exited through the back of her head. The husband then went out on the back porch and shot himself, authorities said.

When the officer got there she said, `What's going on?' She was holding a rag on her head and talking, but she was confused about what had happened. She had made herself some tea and offered the officer something to drink.

She is expected to fully recover.

While such cases may be rare, a neurosurgeon who wasn't involved in Sexton's case said such an outcome is possible. Medical journals also confirm people have been shot in the head with little or no lasting injury.

"There is a space in the brain where a missile could pass without doing any major damage. Is it possible? Yes. It would be rare," said Dr. Patrick Pritchard, an assistant professor of surgery at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

Happy Easter

Not everyone had a happy Easter today.

Girl #1 says: "All this talk about man causing the Earth to warm is ridiculous. The planet's geothermal cycles that heat and cool the ocean currents is what's to blame".

Girl #2 says: "And don't discount the procession of the Earth on it's own axis, or the effects of the Sun's own solar cycles".

What you're hearing: "Blah, Blah ... Blah ... Blah, Blah, Blah"

The soup preferred by 9 out of 10 American women.

My mantra.

So true

More than Meets the Eye

The image below is what you see when you step outside your home on a nice winter evening and gaze skyward. The familiar constellation Orion is just above the house. Sirius, the brightest star visible, is down and to the left. The faint "V" shaped head of Taurus is slightly above and to the right of Orion. The Pleiades star cluster is a little more above and to the right of that. I love the winter sky. There's so much to see. But there's so much more that we can't see.


This picture is a mosaic of 40 hours of photos taken of the same sky as above. What you see are the many nebulae that fill up much of the sky. The human eye isn't able to just stare at the sky in long exposure like a camera and draw in enough light to see such faint objects. It would be cool though if we could.

Ask An Expert

Check it out. I met this hot girl at the club last night. Dude she is sooo fine and got a body that won't quit. But she looks kinda young so I approached her about her age and she says she's 18. I'm thinking "Bet!", but I'm still a little apprehensive. I mean, like, I want to spend time with her, but I don't want to do time cause a her. You feelin me? So I asks to see her ID and she says she lost it on a DWI. Plausible. So now I'm faced with a dilhemma. Do I go with the flow, or kick the Ho? You know what I'm sayin? What I need is help from an expert. I need the advice of a man with vast amounts of experience in this type of situation. A man that propositions women everyday. I gotta know . . . What would Slick Willie do?




Gee, thanks Slick Willie. I knew I could count on you. Jail or not, here I come!

You may be a poet and not even know it

Limericks are the poetry of the masses.
They can be written without college classes.
The only thing that can be said,
of all the ones I've read,
the poets were a mix of geniuses and asses.

I wrote that one in less than 2 minutes ( as you can probably tell ). The point is that I have a little bit of wit, and very little artistic talent, yet I came up with that fairly easily. Google up "limericks" for sites on the basics and for ideas. There are rules to follow but many dont, and some of those are the best. Enjoy the ones below I found on the web.
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If you catch a Chinchilla in Chile
And cut off its beard, willy-nilly
You can honestly say
That you have just made
A Chilean Chinchilla's chin chilly
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On the chest of a barmaid at Yale
were tattooed the prices of ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
was the same information in Braille.
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if(computer.fail==true){
background.setColor(blue);
user.frown();
sys.shutdown();
user.scream("OH, FUCK YOU");}
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Rob, an odd fellow, designs
Poems of equal-length lines
And he limericks with flair
As his forethought and care
Ensure a word count of 3 9s

(27 characters in each line, 27 words in the limerick)
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A young psychic midget named Marge
Went to jail with the most heinous charge
But despite lock and key
The next day she broke free
And the headlines said "Small Medium at Large"
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There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not rounded and pink,
as you'd possibly think;
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.
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A daring young woman named Alice
used a dynamite stick as a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina,
And bits of her anus in Dallas.
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The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of bright blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.
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A dozen, a gross, and a score
plus three times the square root of four
divided by seven
plus five times eleven
is nine squared, and not a bit more!
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There once was a plumber from Brie,
Who was plumbing a lass by the sea,
She cried "Plumber, stop plumbing,
There's somebody coming!"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
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There once was a gal from Peru
whose limericks stopped on line two.
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There was a young girl from Rabat,
who had triplets, Nat, Pat and Tat;
It was fun in the breeding,
But hell in the feeding,
When she found she had no tit for Tat.
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The limerick packs laughs astronomical
in a space that is most economical.
But of the ones that I've seen,
so few have been clean,
and the clean ones are seldom so comical.
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At the party, some girls got out Twister
and I joined, although one was my sister.
It may be the drinks
But I heard "right hand pink"
And the only way out was to fist her.
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There once was a man from O'Doole
who discovered red spots on his tool.
He went to the doc,
who looked at his cock,
and said, "wipe off the lipstick, you fool."
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There once was a girl named Jude,
Who's skirt by the wind was strewed.
A man came along,
And unless im quite wrong,
You expected this last line to be lewd.

No Fool for April Fool's

I thought about coming up with some crank news story ala Orson Wells, but I worked 14 1/2 hours yesterday and just don't feel like it. But I've been meaning to post these pictures I found so enjoy these and keep on your toes today. Pranksters like me are out there everywhere.