Manly Man Lesson No. 101

Thank you gentlemen for attending this weeks meeting of the Manly Man Club.

Today's lesson from 'The Manly Guide to Manliness in a Less Manly World Because of Those Sissy-assed Liberals' by Professor H. Umpsalott is 'Lesson 101: How To Choose Your Mate for the Evening'. This is actually a reprint of Lesson 73, and Lesson 37, and also Lesson No.1. The reason for the repetition is due to the lesson's importance in laying the ground work for Lessons 102, and 74, and 38, and No. 2: 'Getting Her Horizontal', which is what being a manly man is about.

We begin with her wardrobe. What a woman wears speaks volumes about her personality. Women spend an inordinate amount of time shopping and dressing. A woman is what she wears. Does her attire say she is modest and demure, or does it indicate a less virtuous attitude.

Well then, moving on. Next we shall consider her hands. Again women spend too much time and money adorning their hands with jewelry and accoutrements to catch a manly mans eye. What a woman does with her hands is another keyhole into her soul. Do her hands say she is plain and shy. Are they gaudy indicating vanity or greed? Or is the message much more direct?

Uhhh, yeah. So, now she's dressed and ready. Let's move on to her table manners. A lady's eating habits at the table cannot be overlooked. Does she use the proper utensils for the proper course? Is her napkin folded in her lap? Is she a paragon of etiquette? Is she prim and proper with each taste her mouth takes?

Wowww. Ummm. Okay. I'm gonna need a moment.

Ok, moving on. We must take into consideration her attitude in a public setting. A manly man expects his woman to be lady-like at ALL times. A manly man's women is a reflection of his manliness. You can't be very manly if she isn't very womanly. A manly man's women must be a pillar of ladyishness for all other women to emulate. Always polite and gracious. Always chaste and virtuous.

Then again, there's a much simpler approach to this.

As long as she's got a pretty face. . . .

A nice rack. . . .

And a great ass . . . .

All that other crap doesn't really matter.

So thank you for attending and I look forward to meeting with you next week when we'll discuss 'The Pros and Cons of Whaling'.

Even more de-motivational motivation

More de-motivational motivation

 Yeah, I'm in that state of mind right now.

 OH MY GOD! I think this pic has been photoshopped because her tits in the window reflection appear to be much smaller than the impressive gazongas she's sportin there.

 But aren't ALL retards funnier than their normal counterparts?

 You gotta admit though, it takes huge balls to be hung like a chipmunk and still wear a man-thong that small.

 You know the guy taking this picture was pissed when Quasimodo's sister stuck her face there.

 You know what they say about seeking revenge. First dig two holes. One for your enemy, and one for . . . HIS MOTHER! Cause that evil bitch is goin in the ground too!

 Don't worry, he'll be alright in 3 or 4 days.

 At least two-thirds of the human population falls into this category.

 My Binky has always kept me safe . . . I mean, when I was a kid.

 This could be a portrait of me in my twenties. The Lost Years.

Someday I'm gonna do this.

De-motivational motivation

Support Proposition 38DD

YOU GUESSED IT. 

NO BRAS ON BABES.

VOTE YES TO 38DD!

 

 

LOL!!!

 Touche'

 But this explains why I took it twice.

 When I make their pussy purr with the stroke of my hand,

They know they're gettin from me.

And they know just where to go when they need their lovin man,

They know I'm doin it for free.

They give me cat scratch fever,

CAT SCRATCH FEVER!!!

 Really John!! I told you to go back there at McDonalds.

 Lets face it. Rice burners weren't designed for fat bitches.

Buy a Harley.

 America's Most White-Trash Family 2011.

Congratulations! You've won a lifetime of "assisted living" off the hard work of others.

 "Mai Lin! I told you no Szechuan for lunch!"

 At least he toughed it until the race was over and didn't cost them the race.

 Red Sonia gets a little crazy at the old folks sometimes. They just let her swish-swish her sword till she gets tired. Takes about 5 minutes.

Hell yeah she is!