Carnival in Rio

#1 on my bucket list is Rio during Carnival.

 

 

the Mary Celeste

 The Mary Celeste in the condition she was found

On this day in 1872 the ghost ship Mary Celeste was found adrift in the Atlantic ocean, a mystery that to this day remains unsolved. Check out the Wikipedia article http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Celeste to see why this story is still so fascinating after 140 years.

Vive l'Empereur!

On this day in 1805, Napoleon I, Emperor of the French, defeated the combined Austrian-Russian armies at the Battle of Austerlitz. Napoleon's victory had enormous ramifications on Europe. It ended the Third Coalition. It led to the end of the thousand year old Holy Roman Empire and set Germany on the path to unification. It is also considered one of the tactical masterpieces of military history.

Napoleon deliberately deployed his army on low ground in front of Pratzen Heights, and overextended his right flank. Davout's corps was approaching the battlefield from that direction and Napoleon was counting on him arriving in time. When the Austro-Russian army arrived they immediately saw the weak right flank and planned to make they're main attack there.

The next day, Dec. 2nd, the Allies launched a secondary attack against the French left to hold the main part of the French army in place while their main attack was made against the French right. The French right fought hard and valiantly, but were simply outnumbered and began to fall back. Seeing this, the Allies moved more troops from the center to their left to add more weight to the main attack. By now Davout had arrived to reinforce the French right. This is what Napoleon was waiting for.

Soult's corp in the French center stormed the weakened Allied center on Pratzen Heights and split the army in two. Soult's corps then wheeled right to roll up the Allied left flank, while Bernadotte's corps poured through the gap, wheeled left and rolled up the Allied right flank. The Allied army disintegrated. Two days later, the Austrian Emperor surrendered unconditionally to Napoleon.

Surprise! Surprise! Size DOES Matter!

So I'm scanning the headlines on the Internet just now, and see this story at nydailynews.com about some woman in Sweden who just got busted for keeping human bones in her apartment and supposedly having sex with them . . . C-R-E-E-P-Y-!!! swedish-woman-licks-skull-shocking-photos-article 

I suppose I could have titled this post "Women gives new meaning to 'getting some head'".






So anyway, below that article was another entitled "Size does matter in bed, study shows". And I'm thinking "No shit". I remember back in the 80's when the whole size doesn't matter BS first started. It was all part of the whole liberal social revolution from the Hippie 70's to the Yuppie 80's. The baby boomers that had been living a wild life of high times and free love in their teens and early twenties, were now mom's and dad's hitting their thirties and needed to tone it down some. Women wanted men to be more sensitive and in touch with their feelings. They wanted men to be 'kinder and gentler' to their needs. But on the flip side, this meant having to be the same with us, and what's the most sensitive of all male issues? That's right, the size of your manhood. So they started telling us it's okay to have a little penis because size doesn't matter to them.

BULLSHIT!

Size has always mattered to women from prehistoric times to today. When was the last time you saw a fertility god with a little pecker; a Roman fresco or Japanese painting of lovers that weren't well-endowed; how about a porn film with actors of an unimpressive size. Size has ALWAYS mattered. Ask any woman to choose between 2 absolutely identical men that will be their sole sex partner for the rest of their life. The only difference between them is that one has a thin little 5-inch penis, while the other has a thick 8-inch COCK. There's your answer.

Now granted, having a large member doesn't mean you can just mount up and jackhammer away and she'll love you for life. You still need to have magic fingers, a talented tongue, a good imagination, and a desire to satisfy your wife or girlfriend or "what IS your name by the way", for her to shout from the mountaintop that you are THE BEST EVER.

And that's what every guy wants to hear from his woman, "Honey, you're the best . . . ever".

So, back to the news article. A group of Scottish psychologists studied the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s penis exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches. “This might be due . . . to greater ability of a longer penis to stimulate the entire length of the vagina and the cervix,” researcher Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of West Scotland, told the website Live Science. Brody said the research showed that women who had sex with well-endowed partners had the most vaginal orgasms.

As final proof that size does matter is this study itself. More and more of these studies are coming out saying the same thing. It doesn't mean it's all women care about. The total you is ultimately what they care most about, and leads them down the road of sexual fulfillment to sexual Nirvana. But I hate lies, and 'Size Doesn't Matter' is a lie, and I've always been annoyed by it. I always used to say you could tell if a guy had a little dick if his girl was one of the one's going around saying "size doesn't matter", because you didn't hear that from girls whose guys were well-endowed. They knew the truth. It was just politically incorrect to say it. Women talked about it when they were alone, but only 'sluts' came right out and said it. I'm glad to see women have finally come full circle and are being honest with themselves on this issue. Although they're still lying like Hell about a whole lot of other crap.

;^)

psychologists studied the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s penis exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/size-matter-bed-study-shows-article-1.1200988#ixzz2DKyfmMHK

psychologists studied the sexual appetites of 323 women and found that most reach orgasm more easily when their lover’s penis exceeds the average size of 5.8 inches.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/size-matter-bed-study-shows-article-1.1200988#ixzz2DKyfmMHK

Don't get mad at me for looking

I can't stand women who have large breasts and walk around with push-up bras and plunging necklines, but act indignant and want to complain about guys "staring at my chest", or "can't look me in the eye". It's not that men are horny perverts always thinking about sex ( ... alright maybe we are), but that women are exhibitionists who like to flaunt what they've got. I never hear women who dress modestly complaining about this problem. And let's be honest, it's your own fault for this anyway. Because women will never just come out and say what they want, men are always trying to interpret everything you say or do into what we think you really mean. And we usually get it wrong. (Ex: "My God! I was tossing my hair, and crossing my legs, and brushing up against him. What's it gonna take to make him realize I'm hot for him?") What you ladies don't understand is that we ARE getting that signal, we just think we're misreading it. We see a woman with a push-up bra and plunging neckline, and we think, "She's looking to get laid". Granted, maybe not right there in the mall, but at some point she wants to hook up with one of us. Why do men think that? Because you've conditioned us to think like that. Go down to a club. Are the ladies dressed like Amish women? How about mothers, or teachers, or business women? OR are they dressed more like prostitutes and strippers? Ding-Ding-Ding!!! Short, tight dresses; thongs or no panties at all; tits falling out of their blouses. Even when you've got a steady girlfriend or are married, how do women let us know they're in the mood? They put on one of your shirts, unbuttoned to the navel, no panties, and then walk around you finding excuses to bend over and show you a little of what you could be enjoying if you bust a move. So when a guy ogles the bosom of some busty babe, or a tantalizing tush in tight-assed jeans, all he's doing is sending his signal that he received your signal and he's up for it if you are (and yes that includes right here in the mall). So think about that the next time you think about stepping out like this . . .

Oh yeah, BTW, this post isn't because I've had trouble with this. I do my ogling from a distance. But at least once a week I'll overhear women discussing this, and they are invariably dressed like the above women. And I'll think, "Well then why are you dressed like that?" They just want to draw attention to themselves by announcing how men are 'always' staring at them. You want to play a role and pretend, fine. Just don't get mad at us guys for behaving the way you've trained us to.

Smart Girls

Our three beauties here are facing a dilhemma.

They're ready to go out but only have one pair of shorts.

What are they to do?!

"I know what to do!", says the brunette (because we all know the two blondes combined don't have the cognitive powers to have deduced a solution to this peculiar predicament).

"We'll just make one pair into three!"

So, one girl got the top,

One girl got the middle,

And one girl got the bottom.

And they all went out pleased with themselves at their solution to their problem . . .

. . . until they all ended up in jail on charges of public indecency, lewd behavior, and suspicion of prostitution.

THE END



Good-bye cruel world!

That's me there, right in the path of 'Frankenstorm' as they're calling it. I live on a peninsula and will probably be stranded and without power for a week. Fortunately I decided to take a vacation this week. What fun I'm having. So, if this is my last post ever, you'll know why.

And on that note . . . .

Installed a new beer cup holder in my pool

Don't know who this babe is, but I see her all the time . . . on the web, that is, not in real life.

Now this is my girlfriend in real life. Alright, alright . . . my pretend real life.

I've heard of cameltoe, so this must be aguileratoe.

Scarlett Johannson and her entourage.

I used to have a pair of Converse high tops like that.

GOOD GOOGLELY-MOOGLELY!!!

Heh, heh. Yes I do.

And last but not least . . . .

See-ya !!!

(maybe)

Neil Armstrong dies, 82

Neil Armstrong, the astronaut who became first to walk on the moon as commander of Apollo 11, has died. He was 82 years old.

Armstrong commanded the Apollo 11 spacecraft that landed on the moon July 20, 1969. His first words after becoming the first person to set foot on the surface are etched in history books and the memories of those who heard them in a live broadcast.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," Armstrong said.

(Armstrong insisted later that he had said "a" before man, but said he too couldn't hear it in the version that went to the world.)

The moonwalk marked America's victory in the Cold War space race that began Oct. 4, 1957, with the launch of the Soviet Union's Sputnik 1, a 184-pound satellite that sent shock waves around the world.

Armstrong was among the greatest of American heroes, Obama said in a statement.

"When he and his fellow crew members lifted off aboard Apollo 11 in 1969, they carried with them the aspirations of an entire nation. They set out to show the world that the American spirit can see beyond what seems unimaginable — that with enough drive and ingenuity, anything is possible," Obama said.

The manned lunar landing was a boon to the prestige of the United States, which had been locked in a space race with the former Soviet Union, and re-established U.S. pre-eminence in science and technology.

The 1969 landing met an audacious deadline that President Kennedy had set in May 1961, shortly after Alan Shepard became the first American in space with a 15-minute suborbital flight. (Soviet cosmonaut Yuri A. Gagarin had orbited the Earth and beaten the U.S. into space the previous month.)

"I believe this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before the decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to Earth," Kennedy had said. "No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important to the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish."

The end-of-decade goal was met with more than five months to spare.

For Americans, reaching the moon provided uplift and respite from the tumultuous events of the Sixties including the Vietnam War, strife in the Middle East, and social unrest at home.

In all, 12 American astronauts walked on the moon between 1969 and the last moon mission in 1972.

Armstrong was born Aug. 5, 1930, on a farm near Wapakoneta in western Ohio. He took his first airplane ride at age 6 and developed a fascination with aviation that prompted him to build model airplanes and conduct experiments in a homemade wind tunnel.

As a boy, he worked at a pharmacy and took flying lessons. He was licensed to fly at 16, before he got his driver's license.

Armstrong enrolled in Purdue University to study aeronautical engineering but was called to duty with the U.S. Navy in 1949 and flew 78 combat missions in Korea.

After the war, Armstrong finished his degree from Purdue and later earned a master's degree in aerospace engineering from the University of Southern California. He became a test pilot with what evolved into the National Aeronautics and Space Administration, flying more than 200 kinds of aircraft from gliders to jets.

Armstrong was accepted into NASA's second astronaut class in 1962 — the first, including Glenn, was chosen in 1959 — and in 1966, commanded the Gemini 8 mission with David R. Scott as his crewmate. On their fourth orbit, they made the first-ever docking in space with another spacecraft -- a maneuver the still-untested Apollo project would need to get astronauts to and from the lunar surface.

Minutes later, though, the spacecraft began to tumble wildly out of control, apparently because of a broken maneuvering thruster. It was a dangerous moment -- a 6,000-pound ship, moving at 17,500 mph, spinning and turning end-over-end once a second. Armstrong ended the emergency by using a second set of thrusters. Mission Control ordered the astronauts to land as soon as possible, and after 10 hours of flight they splashed down safely in the Pacific.

When Project Apollo began, Armstrong was assigned to command one of the first six flights. NASA had a system for rotating its crews among flights -- one served as backup crew for a mission and then actually flew three flights later -- and nobody knew how many test flights would be needed before the first moon landing could be attempted.

Armstrong was backup commander for the historic Apollo 8 mission at Christmastime in 1968. In that flight, Commander Frank Borman, and Jim Lovell and Bill Anders circled the moon 10 times, and paving the way for the lunar landing seven months later.

It was happenstance that made Neil Armstrong one of the most famous names of the 20th century. If the order of flights had been different, or if Apollo 9 or 10 had run into trouble, Apollo 11 might very well have been a practice run for the first lunar landing.

More than a million people crowded the Florida coast to see the liftoff on July 16th 1969.

Liftoff was flawless, and three days later the astronauts arrived in lunar orbit. On the morning of July 20, Armstrong and Aldrin took their places in the landing ship Eagle, leaving Collins to run the command ship Columbia. They fired Eagle's main engine to slow themselves toward the moon's surface, aiming for a landing site on the Sea of Tranquility.

As they came in on final approach, Armstrong later reported, he saw they were in trouble. Eagle's computer was steering them right toward a crater, with boulders the size of cars. Armstrong took over manual control. Fuel was in short supply, but he hosed out more, skittering a few hundred feet above the lunar surface in search of a clear spot to land.

Finally, Aldrin called out, "Contact light" -- a signal that a five-foot-long metal probe, protruding from Eagle's landing legs, had touched the surface. The ship gently settled. Finally, Armstrong came on the radio.

"Houston, Tranquility Base here, the Eagle has landed."

"Roger, Tranquility," Apollo astronaut Charles Duke radioed back from Mission Control. "We copy you on the ground. You've got a bunch of guys about to turn blue. We're breathing again. Thanks a lot."

After making sure Eagle was in good shape for the return trip, he and Aldrin put on their bulky backpacks and prepared to open the hatch.

It was 10:56 p.m., Eastern Daylight Time, when Armstrong backed down the ladder of the Lunar Module and then planted his left boot in the lunar soil.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," Armstrong said.

Twenty minutes later his crewmate, Buzz Aldrin, joined him, and the world watched as the men spent the next two hours bounding around in the moon's light gravity, taking rock samples, setting up experiments, and taking now-iconic photographs. Their crewmate, Michael Collins, orbited overhead in the Apollo 11 command ship, Columbia. They received a phone call from President Nixon, and planted an American flag. An estimated 600 million people — a fifth of the world's population — watched and listened to the landing, the largest audience for any single event in history.

"The sights were simply magnificent, beyond any visual experience that I had ever been exposed to," Armstrong once said.

Armstrong carried a camera, mounted on the chest of his spacesuit, and took some of the most famous pictures of the century. Aldrin did not have a camera -- so, in one of the ironies of the space age, almost all the still pictures from the Apollo 11 moonwalk are by Armstrong, not of him.

After a fitful night's sleep, the two men lifted off from the lunar surface and rejoined Collins in Columbia. They splashed down safely in the Pacific on July 24, 1969. They were greeted with ticker tape parades, and went on a 22 nation tour.

After that, Armstrong tried his best to resume a private life.

He served for a few years as a NASA manager in Washington. He taught engineering at the University of Cincinnati, not far from his birthplace. He served on corporate boards. He was appointed to the panels that investigated the Apollo 13 accident and the Challenger disaster. He declined almost all requests for interviews, and stopped giving autographs when people sold them for thousands of dollars.

He suffered a minor heart attack in 1991. His wife Jan divorced him in 1994 and he soon married Carol Knight. In 2005 his authorized biographer, James R. Hansen, wrote, "Neil Armstrong today seems to be a very happy man -- perhaps happier than at any other time in his life."

(This post was copied and pasted from several news stories)

Clean Dishes Inspire Dirty Limerick

The other day my wife and I were washing dishes when she accidentally splashed some soap suds on me and said something like "Oops I got bubbles on you". Upon hearing the word 'bubbles' this limerick started rolling off my tongue without thinking about it:

There once was a stripper named Bubbles,
Whose very large breasts did give her troubles.
44 double E,
They had to be.
And though she played tennis alone,
She still played doubles.

My wife couldn't believe I just made that up on the spot, but I did. What does she think I am? Some pervert that just sits around thinking up dirty rhymes? . . . . . Well, I did just make it up on the spot. I swear.

20,000 Pageviews! In just 4 years!

I just happened to check my stats and saw brian's free fall had 20,002 pageviews. Granted, that's since I started this blog some 4 years ago, and I know some blogs get that in a week or even in just a day, but even still, it felt good to see that. Like looking down at your speedometer just in time to see it roll from 9,999 miles to 10,000.

Blogger offers things to get your blog noticed by others but I don't do any of that. I just post things when I fell like it, about whatever I feel like. But to those of you who have visited, Thank You and I hope you got some kind of enjoyment from it.